segunda-feira, setembro 10, 2012

2011.09.10 - 2012.09.10

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2011.09.10 - 2012.09.10

1year ago I was getting on the plane, to cross the ocean that I had crossed for the last time 23 years before... how time flies.
1year ago I was scared and enthusiastic, eager and I was again like a little boy excited just by idea of discovering a new world...
I was scared that I wouldn't fit, I was scared that everything would be too rough for me, I was scared that I wouldn't be able to respond
I was scared of not knowing, of feeling an outsider, of leaving what I knew behind.
I was sure that 3 months was enough, that that was it. That that was the only thing I would get. No expectations. No dreams. Just experience it and come back.
I came back indeed... With a heart full, plenty of tears and joy to have met people that I look up to, people from there, people that were not from there, people from my homecountry, people from everywhere that made this one of the most important experiences I've had so far.
People that I felt like family, and people that were and still are truly an inspiration...
New York became just more than a name, more than an icon, more than just a big city, it became a place I will carry around in my heart forever.
Sometimes with joy, and sometimes uncertain of what to feel towards it, but everytime with a smile (with or without getting watered eyes).
Departure to: ANYWHERE!, became one of so many goals.
I don't mean to write a sad post about this, because nothing from this experience is sad. It's just emotional, and I'm glad it is emotional, I'm glad that I had the opportunity to be part of such event in my own life.
I have a lot of people to thank for making it like this. People that I've left behind, people that missed me and that had only a smile in their face for getting me back home, people that were supportive through the loneliness of being away, people that I knew that were there and that make me feel at home now that I'm back.
So in that day, a year ago, I thought about you all while I was getting on the plane and I was sure that I was safe because I had all of your strength with me.
And today, a year after that, I think about all of those that gave me the strength to moving forward, to make the 'no expectations' turn into wonderful moments, and the 'no dreams' into a mind full of ideas and desire and need for improvement. always.
Today I felt weird all day, maybe I let myself get to emotional with this kind of things, maybe I shouldn't but that's me and specially at this moment I won't deny the urges and how much I miss not the city but the people that I've met in it.
I'm glad to have fallen in love with a group of people and creatives that have the notion of a bigger and connected world and maybe that was what I was fighting to find for so many years, and I won't say it's not about New York, but I feel it in my heart that is a feeling of belonging somewhere, doing what you love to do, learning what you want to learn and getting a clear idea of what you want to do in the future. So no matter what I will pursue that, wherever that will lead me.
New York City has become part of who I am for having learned the city by the hands, the eyes and words that everyone was so kind to introduce to me.
All the memories from this will be always that, memories... Whatever happens next won't be the same, it will always be different but that's growing and I only wish to keep growing so much as I have been doing over this past year...

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